Body Wisdom- I should have listened...

My body talks to me in anger
ripping and tearing at my skin
from the inside.

For so long I didn't want to hear,
just thought I'd stay young forever.
I ignored the constant nudging
from the outside, the signs...
that tears falling on sunny days
was not normal,
that feet burning to just dance the last dance
did not have to be so lonely.

My body whispered to me first,
but I chose to shut my ears.
And now I can't stop its screams
as it vibrates the words
I TOLD YOU SO throughout every single nerve.

So now what do I do?

First feet and fingers tingling
and not the giddy butterfly kind.
Far from it.

My body just got tired of telling me
nicely.

So now it's showing me
from the inside out
by stealing feeling...
"I can't feel!" I shout.

Is this a punishment,
or protection from pain?

I don't know. I don't know anymore.
I just know that nothing is the same...
first my feet
then my legs,
my spine stays still
and knees barely bend.

And finally, my once full heart
which used to believe so deeply in Cupid's magic,
is frozen, like an animal caught in the snow.

I hope that it is only hibernating
from those icey empty promises,
the ones that cut so deep into my soul.

I guess blood boiling anger can turn into frostbite all over.

From hot to cold
I go.
I need to get out of this place.
But how can I without my faith?

You are crushing it, you are crushing me...
and sucking out so much of my energy.

I cringe when I see you leap in the air,
with your fiery flair.
The more I crumble
the higher you fly.

I see you laughing and telling jokes.
And I want to cry
as my spirit slowly dies.

But not a tear drips,
can't even feel my finger tips.
My body tries to shake some sense into me,
tries to set me free.
But I am senseless from head to heart.
This body -a work of art, so smart.
Each cell full of its own wisdom,
Why did it take me so long to listen? ©